Slightly Awkward

What exactly does modern etiquette dictate on the subject of accidental contact with strangers on public transport?

On the way into the city centre a man used my knee as some sort of improvised arm rest. I assume it was unknowingly, you see I was on the back seat with my legs in the aisle, and him, in front, sort of just leant back and rested his arm on my knee. Paralysed with awkwardness I continued to read my book in the hope that he would eventually move it so I could subtly edge sideways thus avoiding further contact.

My anxieties were echoed beautifully on the way home from town when a sleepy man across from me put his foot on top of mine. What are you even supposed to do?! There are in fact 4 options available to the wary traveller:

1. Move it away quickly
2. Extract the foot slowly
3. Ignore it and hope it will go away
4. Ask politely for them to move their foot

Well, we can discount the fourth option immediately because I don't like coming across as snooty and nobody ever talks to strangers on public transport unless absolutely necessary, such as in the case of fire or other emergencies involving falling luggage for example.

1. is problematic for two reasons. The first being the look of shock on the other person's face as they feel your foot violently removed from underneath theirs. The second being that awkward exchange of 'Sorry about that' and 'Oh no it's quite alright' leading inevitably to an awkward silence when you ponder whether now it would be even ruder not to continue a conversation, considering you have now both spoken to each other and have to all intents and purposes made some form of physical contact - however accidental it may have been.

2. is somewhat worse than 1. in that there really is no subtle way to remove a foot from underneath someone else's, the sneakiness of the act will therefore only magnify the discomfort and embarrassment felt by the 'remover' in turn magnifying the consternation of the other person upon finding a foot squirming slowly away from under them.

3. WHAT IF IT DOESN'T MOVE!!!! I have been in the situation before where someone has been sitting on my coat for an entire journey and I have literally been praying that this person gets off the bus before me just so I don't have to do that awkward half-standing-up thing with my coat firmly wedged under the other person's buttocks. Incidentally they didn't. So we find that 3. proves the most problematic of all because it causes much more long term anxiety.


I know I'm being very silly indeed, but I can't help it. I have too many manners.

Ryan Adams - Everybody Knows